It’s Jesus that I love
Aaron Copland cheerfully humped and sang to the music, “They say money won’t buy you love in this world, but it’ll by half a ton of Sandanista Cocaine and an fourteen year old girl, bum, bum, bum, It’s Jesus that I love,” when mid-stroke and much to his surprise, his stealth jet was hit by an electromatic plus, destroying all the on-board electronics with the singular exception of his Apple Ipod. Everything went black and the airplane fell into freefall.
“Huh?” Copland said. The girl screamed, despite the gag in her mouth and Copland bounced into freefall.
The interior lights kicked back on but not the engine. Copland bounced off the wall and grabbed a bottle of lube floating in space. He needed to think, and he needed to think fast. And that meant, up the butt. He pushed off another wall and headed straight for the girl’s behind.
And then, the horror began. Fucking Steve Jobs, Copland thought. On one hand, they build these lesbian tampon boxes that only a final cut pro professor could love and on the other, they build a perfectly good mp3 player, that fucks up and plays this bullshit pod running music. Copland fought to keep his hard and fought the girl for the placement of his hard. Jesus, he thought, that is one tight little sphincter. He regained focus and pulled on her hair for leverage. He reflected on the effects of zero G gravity sex on women. It drove them insane and not in a good way. The girl made a muffled grunt.
He was obviously missing something. How had the Violet Eyed man tracked them so fast? The fact was, he couldn’t without inside help. Horn. That prick. That didn’t make any sense either. He went back in his mind, he was missing something. He tweaked his Ipod. “Yes, I’m free. Free ass-fucking.”
Cameron was walking drunk when he was mugged. That was dumb luck. Violet was following Cameron, by way of Cameron’s handlers? Did he have access to the tracker in his ear? That seemed unlikely. Everyone wanted to get their hands on the package and see who it was handed off to. The man with the violet eyes saw something and attacked. Whoever blew up the police station wanted Cameron dead. They were following the tracker in Cameron’s ear, that much was certain. But the tracker was no longer in Cameron’s ear, it was in their switch in the back of the plane. That meant they thought Cameron was still with him. There were more groups involved than he originally saw, that much was obvious. And then he saw the obvious.
“Oh I get it,” he said. Then the girl said something, “What’s that my dear?…No. I won’t tell Jesus.” Christ, he thought, these homeschooled girls are dumb. Then he had the greatest orgasm of his life and the bomber broke into a thousand pieces.
